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"We're all just walking each other home." 
                                       -Ram Dass

DEEP-ISH DIVE 

HELLO MY FRIENDS!

 

I am incredibly grateful to be here, sharing my journey with you. Let's take it from the top, shall we?

At three years old, my dad left and as I grew up my mom struggled with prescription pills, often forgetting to pick me up from elementary school. Those experiences left a mark, shaping me early on and showing me the kind of person I didn't want to become. Although my childhood wasn’t perfect, I'd choose those lessons over a “normal” life any day. 

Lucky for little T, my incredible grandma stepped in during third grade and gave me a remarkable upbringing. She filled my life with piano lessons and cheerleading, I was always a pretty happy kid. But now, let's dive into the part where I truly lost myself. 

In December 2016, my angel of a grandma passed away at the youthful age of 79. She was a firecracker, calling all my friends' dads her boyfriend and cracking jokes that made teenage me want to disappear. She was sassy, fierce, and my first encounter with a true baddie. 

Losing her unleashed emotions I had never experienced before. Cue the panic attacks, ongoing anxiety, and bouts of depression. Shortly after her passing, my partner and I packed up our pups and headed west. It was exactly what I needed. I learned to sit with myself on mountaintops and tasted the sweet nectar of inner peace. 

Out in Arizona, we discovered festivals and house music—a love affair that continues to define us today. I began to heal and connect with my grandma's energy in a new way, seeing her numerically throughout my day as 109, her old house number. 

Then, in 2018, another life-altering experience hit me. It was a sunny day at San Diego Pride, and I was basking in the incredible energy around me—music, vibrant humans everywhere. I was already high on the experience alone, not fully understanding the power it held. I made some questionable choices, mixing substances, and ended up in a psychosis for two weeks after that weekend.

 

From what I can recall and what my husband shared with me, I ended up in the hospital multiple times, disconnected from reality. My breath stopped, my mind spiraled, causing my nose to bleed. I lost my appetite, obsessing over the magic of the world. Shit was NOT cute. 

Doctors said I would need constant care and that I'd never be the same. My husband was understandably devastated, and for the first time in my life, I didn't trust myself.  

Slowly, I began to ground myself, realizing the extent of what had happened and the immense shame and guilt I felt. How could I have gone so far? How could I have been so reckless with my well-being and my life? 

It was a massive wake-up call.

Fast forward to today, five years later, and I'm in the best mental shape of my life. Mindful Baddie is about sharing the techniques, mindsets and support systems that got me here.

 

With dedication to yourself and application of the tools I share, I know you can access the mindful baddie in YOU.   

xo Tash

More tingz about me:

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Big 3 BABY 

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Capricorn 

OG Baddie 

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